Why I Love Animals More than I Love Humans

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Why I Love Animals More than I Love Humans

Without wanting to sound like a PETA loving, tye dye shirt wearing, yoghurt weaving maniac, I am actually in the category of those who love animals more than I love humans. I am one of those people who upon arrival at a friend’s house will lavish love, slobbering attention and goo goo noises over the mangy mutt whilst totally ignoring the cherub faced new baby squawking in the corner.

I’m not a baby hater or a human hater; I will happily converse with strangers in a bar, smile at the disgruntled supermarket staff and even give badly construed directions to lost tourists. It’s just forming a relationship with a hairy mammal is so much less stressful then making meaningful ties with my flesh and bone counterparts.

 

Their Abounding Love isn’t Creepy

Maybe I would feel different if every time I arrived home there was a humanoid greeting me with barrels of energy, sloppy wet kisses and sheer joy at the sight of my face. But the truth is this would just probably annoy me and kind of scare the living bejeesus out of me.

 

They Don’t Look Like Prunes When Small

Animals are adorable from the second they fall out of the womb, well kind of. Give me furry soft puppies and kittens over bald headed infants any day. The term a face only a mother could love rarely comes out with baby animals, and the stage of looking like a wrinkled prune only lasts for a short while before overbearingly, squeeze to death cute comes into play. Plus they can walk on the first day, which means you don’t have to battle with car seats, collapsible strollers or back breaking work carrying them around. Simply attach the leash and go!

 

They are Super Easy to Please

Animals are also so easily pleased. If only my boss could be completely satisfied with a quick scratch behind the ears, a half-heartedly tossed ball or half a banana at breakfast then I would never have to worry about getting that report in on time. A little bit of love goes a long way with our domestic pets and they give back way more than they get every time. My dog doesn’t care about plying it cool, taking it down a notch or holding back. She is pure ohmygod ohmygod ohmygod I love you every second of the day.

 

They Are the Secret of Old Age

Did you know that pets also make us live longer, yup that’s right you can enjoy everlasting youth with a paly pooch by your side or a stroppy cat mewling at you to get the hell up and feed me now. Animals bring plenty of purpose to those dull days and make you walk miles in the freezing rain, but this is actually a good thing. You can’t wile away the days when you have something that completely depends on you for survival.

 

They Make us Whole in a Scientific Way

Dogs are actually part of our evolution, as soon as we started to domesticate them we actually lost part of our sense of smell because the dogs were there to do the sniffing for us. This means that without a dog in your life you are actually not even a whole person! Even if they do love to stick their head in your crotch from time to time, take it as a complement from your sixth sense.

 

They Never Complain About your Cooking

Out in the wild animals are also awesome at catching themselves a quick snack. Rather than grumble in the cold freezer aisle they will actually go out and take down dinner with teeth and claws. They also never whinge about being gluten intolerant, overweight or having a delicate stomach, it’s simply munch and go. If you have a dog they will also never complain about your cooking, in fact they will adore your burnt and stodgy pasta surprise even when your housemates are gagging over it.

 

This is really just the tip of the iceberg and living proof as to why animals are so much better than humans. Of course you need some human companionship in your life; no one wants to end up as the crazy cat lady with aggressive tomcats sticking out of their beehive or that mental person trying to control fifty dogs walking down the street.  Get the balance right and enjoy a happy life with your furry four legged friend at your side.

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